Favorite Past-Times

Roo's favorite past-time would probably be:

Jumping off the couch

Friendly's... Making messes and
cleaning them up
It was really cute. She was having so much fun ripping apart a foam egg carton. When she was finished I asked her if she could pick up all the pieces and throw them away...And she did! She loves to be a helper. She revels in being busy and having special tasks to do.

I asked "Are you tired Friendly?" She said, "NOPE!" But she laid there for a good 5 minutes (an eternity for 19mos!) She went to bed about 15minutes later.
"Sensory Play" Beans and Rice, on a tarp in the dining room.
A favorite activity

Roo playing with blocks, another favorite activity. She has such an engineering little mind.
The girls "watering" the baby seeds. Friendly calls them "babies" and I'm hoping I can keep her interest and love at bay from my poor plants.

Friendly got a new big girl bed! Some one from church gave us a new full sized bed. Don't let the expression (above) confuse you...
She really was excited!! :)

Around The Home

Ryan's characters of our family...Why he made Friendly's head so big I'll never understand. Oh and it's with the "bath markers" on the shower wall. The girls like his drawings during their bath the best.

Okay so it feels like all these are pics of Friendly. But that's mostly because Roo hasn't wanted her picture taken... Or she makes grotesque faces. Gotta love being 3. :)
Coming in the house, the patio is a favorite place on nice days.
So Friendly dressed herself...a turtle neck and sundress (that had leggings but she took them off) I put on her... She added the pink shirt and towel bib.
See what I mean? Roo in the tent I made them.
Friendly playing in the tent...
We have a play tent (ladybug tent) but I guess home made ones are just better... They found this tarp in the laundry room and asked me to make some thing with it...Here it is! :)
Friendly eating a banana "with the handle" as Roo says.
Friendly wearing her big sisters underwear...On top of the clothes!
Roo's drawing of "Max" (the bunny) he's holding a balloon. SHE LOVES the magnadoodle best thing we've ever gotten and saves us on paper!

More soon!

Ducks, Puddles, Walks, and Fishies Oh My!

Trying to catch up on life! This was from a walk we took a few weeks ago on a WONDERFUL spring day. We had so much fun being OUTSIDE!
Friendly got filthy playing in this puddle, this was actually at the end of the walk: she didn't mind!
I love this time of year, it isn't really pretty but you can feel winter ending and it is such a relief!
The view from "the statue". This is my favorite place in the world (not the statue but the park ;) )
Back at the duck pond (these pics are a little out of order) The girls were so happy to see their friends, the ducks! I think the ducks were happy to see us too.
Two little girls, very much impressed with "the big puddle". They were so sweet carefully following my instructions to be "very careful and not go in it, we're not wearing rainboots!"
"painting" with pine tree branches.

Sitting on the bridge looking at the creek... This would have been a much cuter picture if I was a little further away, but I wasn't going to leave them sitting alone!

Friendly preferred to ride in the stroller. So funny how quickly they change, a few months ago she HATED riding.
Roo pretending to "lead the donkey" she pretends she's Joseph from her "baby Jesus" (nativity) movie. She replayed the whole trip to Bethlehem for me. :)
At the Fish Hatchery on a Chilly morning in late February
We haven't been back since last year when Friendly was just a baby. This year she was SO all over feeding those fishies. They had a blast, despite the chilly morning!
A family walk in late February. Friendly and Mommie sharing a little joke.
And this, we were all grinning at the camera...And then they noticed a stone on the ground. Story of my life. :)

More to come soon!

Spring Saturdays...

This is what Saturday afternoon on a cool March afternoon looks like.
And a Saturday afternoons work:
Diapers drying on "the line"..And my new pots ready for some veggies!
Roo lives in her "elephant" pajamas...Literally.
I'm going to be growing tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, and spinach. I would also like to do a long skinny planter with some herbs (basal, dill and some mint: we'll see). I'm very excited for my mini container garden this year. We'll also be doing a BIG garden at my Mom's (as usual) with some squash, zucchini, brussel sprouts, peas, broccoli (i hope) and perhaps some carrots.

I love spring. Can't wait for our organic heirloom seeds to arrive so I can start my tomatoes and peppers!

Baltic Amber...It's come to that!

Friendly has been a MESS lately. Just a mess. I've been throwing around the idea of buying an amber teething necklace since Roo was teething...I kept putting it off. I don't really know why I haven't done it until now. Some of it is that, any amount of extra money is a lot to us right now. And the other is just, ordering things online overwhelms me. I know it's weird.

But some thing has got to give. Seriously. It's not even that she's sleeping horribly, I can deal with that. It is the mind numbing whiney fussy, pull-out-your-hair crankiness all day long. She's cutting 4 molars at the moment and she's misery itself. I remember Roo went through this when Friendly was born (same age), I know a lot of it is the age. It's a HARD age. But if it will help bring a little less fuss, and a little more peace to our home...I'll pay any thing!

But I won't have to pay that much thanks to this promotion from Inspired by Finn ! They are offering 15% off if you use the code POST at check out.

So check them out! And I'll let you know if the Amber works... I am hopeful. I know a lot of people who've found it helped, here's hoping it works for us!




Oh and I found their section on "Overwhelmed by choices?" VERY helpful check that out as well!

Food and Discipling Little Hearts, Not Really A Leap Here..

1) The Food Of Love.org

Story of my life.

2) This Blog Post...Oh my word! Blessed my socks off. I am going to get her books.

Favorite quotes:

My answer was, “People confuse the word discipline with spanking and think that they are equal.”

“I have a heart to train my children in righteousness, but my focus is on winning their hearts and instructing their minds. I want them to love Jesus and God with their whole hearts–I do not just want them to obey rules, so that they will say “I am obeying on the outside, but I am rebelling on the inside.” Works and performance is not my goal, a transformed and inspired heart is my goal. Jesus did that by cultivating a deep, loving and committed relationship with his disciples. They all loved and respected Him so much, as He served them so generously, that they wanted to follow him to a death on the cross, because they believed in Him and wanted to serve them out of a loving and transformed heart.

I want them to love righteousness and truth and beauty and so I come along beside them as an advocate, morning, noon and night, to show them and help them and instruct them.”

And

imitations of the vast amount of time it takes to build children into godly, whole, inspired persons.

There is no easy formula. It will require your whole life. It will take your years, body, convenience, leisure time, everything, even as the redeeming us cost Christ everything. But the end result is even more fulfilling than I thought and tastes so very sweet to my soul. I am so very grateful that day by day, year by year, through all the doubts and insecurities and inadequacies, God was leading and guiding and empowering, one question, one child, one challenge at a time.

It all starts with the mom’s heart, as she responds to God’s heart.

-Sally Clarkson

Mothering the way I want to is so hard. It really is just plain impossible. At least by sheer will power. I feel like every thing is just a haze of work with snippets and flashes joy flying through the haze. Along with my prayers for wisdom, presence, and intention...I'm just trying to sit back and BE.

Be with the Lord, when I get a moment to myself...Or take a moment for myself. My greatest desire as a Mother, I want my littles to trust me wholeheartedly. I want to be a comfort and a place they feel so safe with. That they can always trust me with their feelings. Trust me to protect and advocate for them. To know my goal as their parent is to always help them succeed...Even if it means I have to sit on my hands and trust them to try. But mostly, working with them when they are small...Setting them up for a life time of success by little by little, showing them the ropes.

The quote at the beginning of her post, I'm going to end with...Some thing to chew on this evening.

Oh, the comfort – the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person – having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Present and Intentional...And Taking It As It Comes.

My prayer the past few weeks is that God would help me to be present during the day. That every moment, I would just be PRESENT. Plugged in, up and at em, and there for my kids.

It's not easy.

It's pretty much impossible.

Okay, I am no good at it. At least not by sheer will power.

Grace.

Am I as awesome of a Mom as I wish I were? Ooooh No. I fail all the time. I snap, I whine, I some times lock myself in the bathroom to cry for a few minutes. Some times I yell. Some times I go over and give the door a good slam just to relieve some frustration (sorry neighbors). Sometimes I totally model the most immature reactions. Some times I think I've turned into a 3 year old...Or a 19mos old. Seriously. And quite often I really just screw up. But the great part about being present is that I'm not worried about all the stuff floating around. When I'm present, in the moment, I can focus on what is important. Not the fears of "Oh my word, she is going to grow up to be and out of control lunatic." or "Oh my word, what if she is still screeching like that when she's 10? What will people say? I'll lose all my credibility as a parent."

No, when I'm present I can focus on what I want them to really learn.

And sometimes what is needed, is an apology. Some "I'm really sorry, I was wrong." goes a long way in connecting with your child. Or "I need to try that again, because BOY that was wrong." (and this is one I'm really trying to implement more).

It's been a crazy few weeks. Isn't that always how it goes? But between the move, getting pregnant (and feeling sick), to losing the pregnancy (and getting sick on top of the physical and emotional toll of the miscarriage): I'm not kidding, it's been crazy.

3 year olds suck. Okay, not always. I really really love her new love of her Magnadoodle. She will sit for minutes up on end calling to me "Mommie, what should I draw now? I'll draw you a happy face, that will make you happy." "What about now? A fwowerw? No. I can't do dose. Dey're too sniwiggly. [she makes up words. Have to have a reason] I'll make you hmmmm... I'll draw you a pillow."

I like that stuff.


But some parts just suck all the energy and soul out of you. Add a 19mos old into the mix and oooooh some moments are just ugly. I didn't know children cried and whined, and fought so much. It's always so validating when my husband (wonderful husband and Father that he is) says things like "I don't know how you do it all day." No, I really mean it. I like hearing that.

I don't know how I do it all day. I don't do it all day. I fail probably 40% of the day. Fail so big. And I let them watch TV. But I figure if I can be fully present 60% of the day. If I can be present enough to hold my tongue, to remember their feelings, to remember the adults I want them to be...To breeeeeeeeeath before I speak or act.

But really, it all comes down to God's grace. Like I said, I beg every morning. Lord, help me be present. Help the time I have with my children today to be intentional. Show me what to do, and please give me wisdom. You say if any one lacks it, you'll give it generously with out finding fault. I'm asking, Lord....Big time.

It isn't all nails on a chalk board. I feel so blessed to be home with my children. To have two healthy, beautiful and vibrant little souls to share my days with. Really.

But honestly, these ages are hard... So I continue to pray that I remain present and intentional with my days.

Because some days my girls will be grown.

They really will, right?

phew.

Hope Deferred

We lost our baby this morning. I had been spotting off and on for a few days, and then it stopped. I woke up at 4 this morning to some pain, and I just knew. It was over.

Sad doesn't even describe how I feel. It's a whole jumble of feelings.

But what shocks me most of all is how my body is handling it. It's deeper than emotions...My whole body is crying and grieving for my baby.

Sweet baby.

Through the whole thing I kept hearing, "The baby is fine" and I believed it. Not that I didn't doubt the health of the pregnancy, because at every turn I kept looking for reassurances (as we all do). But just hearing that reassurance in my heart "The baby is fine" brought me so much peace. Because I knew it was true no matter what. My baby is fine. And I am so glad he (I keep thinking that his name was Jacob, maybe that sounds silly) will never know the pain and chaos that is life here on earth.

I am so thankful for God's hand of peace. Seriously there was never a moment in this thing where I was stressed out or anxious. I was emotional, I was sad at the thought of losing my baby. But I never felt wrung out by the whole thing.

This pregnancy was a gift. Not just for the honor of getting to hold the little life inside for a little bit. But I can now fully relate to this kind of loss. I've had other losses. I lost my Dad (he died at the ripe old age of 49). I even had a VERY early miscarriage before Roo. But that time was different. This baby was so very much wanted and waited for. And I am so very sad at the thought that we won't get to hold him in November.

So for now, our hope of holding a precious new life and gift for this year, has been deferred...I've been dreaming about a spring baby for a few years. Maybe we will try again in the summer. I must admit, though I feel a little bad for saying so, I am very glad I will not be going through and entire long winter with a 4 year old and 2 year old and newborn. God only gives you what you can handle, and I'm glad (to some extent) He agrees: that wouldn't be so wonderful for anyone.

Feeling thankful and holding the babies I've been blessed with a little tighter. They truly are a gift from God.

Baby.

"I'm having a baby....My baby and me....We're adding a branch to our family tree!"

Roo and The Test...In case you can't see: it says "pregnant"!

We're expecting the 5th member to our family some time late in the Autumn, and we are quiet excited about it!