Monday, June 14, 2010

It's US Against THEM!!!

Nap times going to be over soon. I'm feeling so on edge.
I need to vent.
Can I just say I strongly dislike our culture. That "hurry up and get that baby detached from you as quickly as possible" mindset just hurts. Don't get me wrong, every one needs space but we don't have to get it in the way we THINK we do, we really don't.

We wonder why the family in America is going down the toilet? Because we don't value how God designed the family to work...Mother and baby close often, Daddy involved an helping out. I know that's just not always possible.

But when there is a couple who is committed to working together and raising their children together. Why does the blasted Christian whatever (mindset?) have to come in and say "OOoh wait!! You'll spoil that little tyrant. Here stick a bottle in its' mouth. And hurry up and hire a babysitter...never mind the baby's only a few weeks old. YOU need your REST. YOU need to Be in CHARGE and get away."

Don't get me wrong, I like to get away from my children. I need time to refuel. I'm tired. Heck, I'm burnt out a lot of the time. But I don't need to hire a babysitter and leave. My husband and I can refuel separately, we work together to meet every ones needs. And in the evenings after the babies are asleep, we do our thing (by that I mean watching a movie or reading together *clears throat*). My children are my family, they aren't these little lepers that are draining my marriage and ruining my life.

Children are a gift from the Lord: they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior's hands. How happy is the man whose quiver is full of them!
Psalm 127:3-4
THIS ARTICLE: Children vs. The Marriage is some thing I might have posted before. But I come back to it again and again. Christ-following Mama of FIVE children (though only had 3 or 4 when she wrote it?). Her thoughts blessed me.
My husband and I have yet to "get away" for a night. It's not necessary, yes we both work really hard and some weeks we don't see quite enough of each other. But marriage isn't this perfect little bubble where you have "us" and "them"... It's LIFE. Life gets messy. Our babies are still so small, we're their world. We'll have many years ahead (Lord willing) where we can leave our kids...There will be a season all too soon where we won't be able to keep our kids home to be with us on the weekends (because no matter how you parent. There will be a stage where friends are cooler, they just will, shucks.). Until then we're doing what we need to to recharge, is it perfect? Nope. Will it work for every one? No, some couples do need to hire a baby sitter every few weeks and leave for a couple of hours. But I think the Christian culture has this "ideal" of what "a good christian marriage looks like", and it's a cookie cutter and it doesn't work. Or when it "works" it is often to the detriment of some one in the family (mainly the young baby they left at home every week because "that's the rule"). Throw out the book and find what REALLY works for YOUR family. Enjoy the season that is "having small children" in the house. Building their trust, letting know that you're there to the best of your ability. That they are important. Blessing them by allowing them to be part of a family. Not a damper and weight on your marriage. Open your heart, drop the "rule book" and meet eachothers needs. Will it be perfect? Nope. But life is what it is. Soak it up.
And two small people are awake and fussing suddenly...I can't edit this the way I'd like to so read it with a grain of salt!


  1. Hannah, its so funny that you posted this today because thats exactly what Ive been dealing with. Attachment, marriage, the balance and what works for us. I hate the pressure from all directions to do and be a certain way. I love your honesty and totally hear ya! thanks.

  2. GREAT post!! I really enjoyed reading it.


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