I think the closer we get to the baby's birthday the more I think about my last days with Riley inside of me... The more I think over labor with her, and delivery, and our early hours with her, and the early weeks with her... I have a few happy memories from that time, but for the most part I was in so much pain, so doped up and so sick with gall bladder issues that the whole first 3months of her life are really a painful blur. I think the further away from that, the more I can recognize how difficult it was. How hard of a time I had bonding with her...I think if I hadn't always wanted to be a Mommy, wasn't so determined to breastfeed (which really really got us off to the warm fuzzy relationship- though it took several weeks to get there) and wasn't so just plain determined I would have a very different relationship with Riley Joy...Or maybe that's just part of being a first time Mom to some extent... It's all so surreal and hard to believe that you have a precious baby in your arms?? I don't know...I guess I will know the difference some day soon.
Someone on GCM shared this video and it made me cry. I am so looking forward to this baby's birth, so looking forward to the immediate bonding and holding my baby. I'm looking forward to Riley Joy being in the house and able to meet her new brother or sister immdiately... I am so looking forward to a hot shower shortly after the birth, wearing MY clothes, and climbing into MY bed and snuggling with my babies and my husband.
I am praying my VBAC will be as beautiful as this one...
http://vimeo.com/5648654
That was beautiful. I would have cried too, if I wasn't at work :)
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