37 week appointment

And baby is engaged!!!

I felt like the baby dropped sometime on Saturday, my contractions went from just BH's to feeling downright pinchy/burny in the cervix area and the pressure down there is crazy- this baby already feels bigger than dd was at 39 weeks (6lbs15oz when she was born)- I've been getting up 5 or 6 times a night to pee and going every 30-60 minutes during the day- ANNOYING!

Last night the contractions changed to feeling more menstrual crampy and though they aren't horrible I still feel kinda miserable- if this were my period I'd totally be taking tylonol and curling up with a heating pad. As it is, drinking lots of water and resting.

I was really shocked when she said baby was at 0 station and LOA (YAY!- it's the most optimal position for birth) - I thought 2nd time baby's didn't drop untill labor started- I was looking forward to that...Engagement is so uncomfy! My MW said every thing looks really great and that I should have ordered my birth kit "yesterday" (I've been procrastinating....). She said if baby comes before the kit arrives it's not the end of the world and we have a loose plan to do with out. I'm sure the kit will get here before baby.

I am just feeling so emotional about the baby coming, over the weekend I was feeling so sad and final- like it was our last weekend, as a family of 3- totally irrational because it's very unlikely baby will be born before next weekend. You think I would have accepted all these changes by this point (this pregnancy was a huge surprise out of nowhere), but I've struggled and circled around and around in my feelings about every thing... I do some thing to get ready for the baby and I get really excited...I remember RJ's newborn days (which are still so fresh in my memory ) and I am terrified. Read: screaming or constant nursing from 4-11pm every evening for 3 months. I think of holding and nursing a sweet new baby and I am excited...I remember how often you are nursing that sweet new baby and I feel overwhelmed. I was driving DH nuts this past weekend with how emotional I am over the whole thing.

I don't think it helps that Riley seems to either be feeding off me, or sensing herself the changes in the air. She has been SOOOOO cuddly (in a nice way) and clingy/fussy (not so fun) the past 4 days- I mean insanely so! Our girly is NOT a cuddler- never has been and all weekend all she wanted was to be held or snuggled- and swaddled!!!. ? Last night she was up for HOURS wanting to be held and cuddled (some thing that is very hard to do at this point in the pregnancy and get decent sleep).


Okay sorry just needed to vent. Oh I also had my midwife check me (with all this prodormal labor I wanted to see if it was doing any thing- I could feel a bit better about being miserable)...I am a roomy fingertip dialated (so around 1cm) and very very soft and effacing (around 10%). So good to know there is some progress, that much less I have to do in labor.