Remembering...

Today is 8 years since that traumatic day. It was a beautiful sunny and especially warm San Francisco Sunday. I had just had an extra special -emotionally draining morning at a church in the Castro. Little did I know how spent the end of the day would really find me. I remember the call...my Moms frantic voice..."I couldn't wake your Father..He just wouldn't wake up ...I'm following the ambulance ...I'll call soon." I remember, numb. Tears. Prayers. Hugs. Packing. Crying all night long o. Flights...zombie walking and waiting in Airports My Daddy was in a coma. My life ended that day... I came home to ICU waiting rooms, family and friends waiting, tubes, respirators. Staples in his skull. I planned to stay 6 months...take my Dad to treatments to be home base ..help where I could. I never returned to SF. Hubs happened ...Roo happened. Friendly...and eventually Pip too. But in the middle, there was Jacob..he was still in me this time last year, our last few hours together before the pain started...and he left me, this itty bitty ...well I won't get graphic in his departure. I miss my baby. I miss my Dad, especially watching sweet Pip and wishing he was here with my Mom spoiling his 3 grandgirls. The anniversary of his diagnosis always hits me harder than that if his actual death. It feels even harder now with the anniversary of baby J. But if anything it drives home the comforting truth...he is getting one of his enjoy his grandbabies. I hope he's giving baby J a kiss with his tickaly beard, and I hope he knows how much they are both missed.