Friday, March 2, 2012

Just Keep Swimming...

It's Friday...Friday...

Okay I won't go there. But I am definitely looking forward to the weekend. 

I made it through my first week of over-time..erm... of hubs working over time. Those 11 hour days with the kids, brutal. By Friday evening I am struggling with perspective. Really, finding perspective seems to be the story of my life right now...

And it does come to me... There is nothing like watching Roo girl with Pip. NOTHING. The child is infatuated, twitterpated. She also can't wait until Pip is big enough to play with, and some times forgets to be as gentle as is necessary...But all in all, their interaction (Pip smiles her way the most!) It's beautiful. 

This one is having a bit more of a hard time with a baby in the house... 2.5years is a hard spacing, I wouldn't change it, but I hope to never repeat it. That said Friendly truely LOVES the baby...She is very gentle with the baby. She spends a lot of time with me and the baby. She loves to rub her cheeks against Pips head. She loves to help me burp "our baby". But it is a challenge to find the emotional energy for this very outward thinking little person. And I have been having an especially challenging time because Pip isn't exactly an "easy" baby. 

5 weeks old
She's not a screamer, and for that I will be eternally grateful. My ears, emotions, and soul can't handle that. But she knows what she wants...My kind of girl. And what does she want? Milk. Quiet. And stillness...Yes, stillness. She doesn't take well to being moved when she's at the tap (so to speak). I can't nurse her in a sling like I did with Friendly as a newborn...I can't really move at all with out her popping off and screaming (and my milk then spraying her in the face and dripping all over the place). She loves milk and snuggles and she doesn't like all the up and around that is required of Mommie with her newly 4 year old and a 2.5 year old needing me too. 

This too shall pass, right?

I am so thankful she isn't a screamer. But her fussing and pouty lip, her frustrated nursing when she is overtired...Not easy. I do my best to be responsive, but I gotta say- I doubt I'm bringing any "attachment parenting" awards home. 

This girly likes it CHILL...Our house is so not chill. I also need to say, I am so thankful she's not my first. The hours she fusses at the breast (and she has several hours of the day - though not  a set time like the other girls- where she is FUSSY about her milk) I think I would have thought some thing was wrong. SO thankful for my hard experiences with Roo and that I know all babies have different styles of fussy nursing... But glad I haven't experienced this caliber until #3...Okay, maybe not. 

Where was I? Oh, Perspective. It's hard to keep it in place. It's hard to face your limits. To accept where you're at, and hope for a smoother path ahead. 

This postpartum time has been such a gift. Hunkering down with my kids and keeping life very basic, taking this winter time to be home and reflect and adjust...It's been really good for me. I am so glad it's not the height of spring and I'm out running around. I need this time to process. 

I am seeing new things about my girls...Like, Roo and I do so much better in our interactions (and attitudes towards eachother) when we can enjoy each other outdoors. We both thrive on that. 

I am also seeing how very similar we are, she's a hard little nut to crack and I am seeing her with different lenses lately. I think we're so much a like we confuse each other some times. More on that another time.

For now, I'm enjoying our slow pajama days... staying ahead of the sleep deprivation...And taking it easy when I feel it might catch me. I'm thankful they are all so close together in age: that no one is needing me to take them to school, or rush them off to extracurricular activities. 

It's just us in our bubble, and that's been nice. 

But ... Spring is coming....

I can't wait...

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