Yesterday was Baby J's due date. Last week was HARD... The day ended up being sweet some how...Like there was a special grace over it. I did all my crying in the couple of days before - it was like my body just HAD to cry. I'm not one to cry easily, so when this happens it feels strange.
Saturday I woke up to feel Newby jump and wiggle at the sounds big sisters were making when they came in to snuggle with us in the "big bed". I took pictures (last post) of my big round belly...And I think I'm starting to feel ready to move on. Ready for birth again. For this sweet little life growing inside. Not that I'll ever forget Jacob...But this due date has been hanging over my head for months. Not in a huge way. But in a subtle there-ness, I don't know how to explain. That sweet lost baby is always on my heart, especially because Newby wouldn't exist if we hadn't lost Jacob.
And now I'm passed that milestone...And I'm facing Newby's upcoming birth. I've made some big changes a while ago: I switched care providers. I wasn't feeling a peace about using the MW I used with Friendly. That woman will always have a special place in my heart. But instinct just kept screaming "change some thing...keep looking!" So I have. And I have SO much peace about my choice and I'm really excited about it.