Saturday, July 23, 2011

Homebirth...Why I Am Going to Do it Again...

*sensitive things shared in this post read with caution*

I have been REALLY torn about my decision to home birth again. My experience with Friendly was all-in-all WONDERFUL. The best part being immediately following the birth, crawling into my own bed and snuggling to sleep. But. I had a friend who lost a baby in January after a transfer to hospital during a home birth. Baby was 150% FINE, doing WONDERFUL. The baby's  death had nothing to do with where Mama labored (and pushed and pushed). It had every thing to do with the fact that she got a crappy on-call OB who didn't know what he was doing and sliced up so many things besides her uterus (including the baby's cord before delivery!) that she was in the OR for 8 hours. And her baby died from brain damage and other complications (due, it is believed, to having the cord cut before birth). What breaks my heart even more, is that the  Mama HAD great back up care...But they dropped her a month before she was due when they found out she was hoping to homebirth.

I was scared to home birth again, not because home birth is dangerous. But because of what a prejudice or just plain bad OB can do to you if you transfer in. With out back up care, it's a gamble.

But yet, my heart is drawn to birth at home again. I  still feel - with good back up care if needed- it is the safest place to birth. And I will have back up care this time.  But that's all for another post.

This POST from MAMA BIRTH confirmed to me even more why I want to home birth again.

This is taken from the comment I shared on that post:

Roo a very few minutes old
I couldn't read the entire post...I got to them taking your baby "real quick" and had to stop. I had an unexpected (and mostly unnecessary) cesarean with my first born. The most traumatic part of her birth (well besides the 30 minutes I had to lay completely alone strapped to a table while they prepped me)...The very most traumatic part was listening to her scream. And not getting to touch her or hold her until she was a few hours old. 

 And then when she was less than 12 hours old they took her "real quick" and DH and I both passed out (I was doped, he had helped me labor for 2 days)...we woke up THREE hours later completely panicked (and she hadn't nursed in 4)...DH raced to find her...He found her in the corner of a hallway of the nursery SCREAMING (hungry and scared) and the nurse said "oh that's okay she's next for her bath". I am heartbroken when I think of that.

Conveyor belt care
Her Birth was  Conveyor Belt:
 jerk out of the womb, roughly suctioned (caused nursing issues), cord cut, foot prints, BAM, diaper, hat, bam bam, swaddled and brought over to see me. I cry when I see the picture of her laying cold and alone in the OR's hard metal scale being weighted. Her face looks SO miserable.

I think I was able to kiss her cheek, but my arms were strapped down and I couldn't touch her.

Getting to hold my baby for the first time...She was nearly 2 hours old.

After our traumatic separation...Finally getting some real cuddles.
My next baby was born at home. I pulled her right up to my breasts...
The moment I live for all 9mos.
she was in the arms of loving family (familiar voices, loving hearts) shortly after birth while I showered and rested (I was so weak I was scared I'd drop her and I just wanted to LOOK at her). She was grinning at every one (really newborn SMILING!) and would look to find me and smile (DH was holding her real close) ...She was carefully checked, weighted, washed (we did it right away because she had no vernix and it was late at night, I didn't want to sleep with a bloody baby.) and gently dressed for the first time.
Grinning at every one.

Getting weighed, in a sweet cuddly sling scale.

 This baby will be born at home (if all goes well) and I again look forward to those magic hours after birth. Those hours you never get back, where baby is snuggled and loved and we curl up and sleep together in the comfort of our own bed.

Friendly will be two years old on August 8th... I can't believe it's been 2 years since those magical, healing hours.

1 comment:

  1. My heart just skipped a beat thinking about all my kids birth experiences. :( G was in the NICU for the first 24 hours and I had so much back pain that I didn't really spend a lot time with him (this really saddens me to think of him all alone...), then the twins were born via section and I have NO idea what happened immediately after their birth (I was asleep) and didn't get to hold them until they were 4 hours old.

    I hope you get the birth experience you desire with this baby.



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