You've heard of the "types" of personalities right?
As I see it the types are,
Type A: Thrives in structure, creates structure...Organized, loves to organize. Tends to be pretty inflexble.
Type B: free spirit, go with the flow, rebels against structure- feels confined by it. Has a hard time organizing things and or seeing that any thing needs to be "organized "in the first place.
I have a hard time defining which "type" I am. I'm not either...So I propose a Type C.
Type C: thrives on organizing, but has to reorganize almost compulsively because they hate for things to be the same too long. They need a lot of change. But they also like to know what to expect and where their duties and responsiablitiles lie. Oh and theyreally don't enjoy being "thrown for a loop". ..They cope and bounce back quickly, but they still hate it. They like to find better ways to do things. They are always looking for new and different ways to try the same thing. They thrive on structure but they need the freedom to go with the flow.
Yup, me in a nut shell.
I was pondering all the Types when it relates to how we mother...And if it even relates to how we parent. I'm "friends" on fb with a lot of new Mamas. I love it! I love their pictures (oh yes, the first time Mamas and the constant stream of pictures...Baby is just sitting there, an adorable lump: must post! I probably have 197297402009 pictures of lump-Roo to my 18198 of anything Friendly). I feel for the, "hey this wasn't what I signed up for! What's with the suddenly not sleeping?" the "First smile!", the "baby rolled over!" or the oh so TMI disgusting poop or otherwise posts. I heart new Mamas.
I was pondering how different we all are. How some Mamas are very scheduled and organized...It baffles my mind how they can know how often and how many and whatever their babies do every day. And it has surprised me the Mamas who do, are not always what I would call "Type A's". I think it baffles me so much, because it's how I thought I'd be with a baby. I thought I'd be more ______, _______, _______ and then ____________. and I just wasn't.
I'm pretty anal about things in life. I like my ducks in a row. But when it came to how I mothered... Well I think the baby I was sent had a lot to do with it. She didn't do any thing the same her first year, ever. Shocking, looking back, because she's definitely Type A. Oooooh is Roo ever Type A! Some of it's being a toddler and now a preschooler... They have to put order in their life. It's part of being human. But her Type A-ness has been...entertaining. She at 24mos ripping the paper she colored to bits because it wasn't right any more. She who can't color on a paper that has a crease on it. She that has to (and this is a 3 thing, I'm sure) have all the colors match on the paper. Again ripping paper to bits if Friendly "messes it up". She that will knock down a tower and start over if things aren't PERFECTLY lined up. She's perectionist to the T and good grief it's annoying (yes, I love it...cracks me up! But OH! Home Education? agh! Going to be tricky!)
What's my point? I do have one.
When it came to holding my bewildering little, brand new Roo in my arms in those early days, I had all these ideas of what I would be as a Mother. I would be strong, structured, in charge, I wasn't going to spoil my baby.
But I quickly felt a lurch in my heart. A call to do it "wrong" I couldn't ignore. A call to listen to some thing besides the experts and outside voices. And then there were those those big grey green eyes would look at me, little arms would reach for me, a little heart would be comforted by only me...Her mommie. And I knew, I had to heed that Faithful Voice.
The voice in my heart that has gotten louder and more clear with every step and decision that I made in line with His call.
How would He love? How would He hold? How would He feed? How would He answer? And more, what did He create our bodies to do? To need? What time lines did He set forth? Any? If so, what (and that's the awesome thing about time lines, Jesus made them all unique to each baby!)? Best of all the comfort that He knows what my babies need best. He created them. With every step I started to lose sight of the Mother I thought I'd be.
And you know what? I am strong, and more? I'm informed! In heeding and following my instincts and God's divine design for my family I have been given opportunities to grow in patience I never dreamed I'd possess (and boy, still stretching there!). And I have discovered truths, weaknesses, and depths of myself I didn't know existed. I have been driven to research, to question, to not take what I'm told at face value. Not just in parenting, but in all aspects of my life. I've grown in my confidence to do my own thing, to be okay with being different...Okay with not having the answers, or the perfect family, perfect kids. To do what my conscience calls me to do.
When it comes to Mothering, we can all come at it with different ideas, hopes, and expectations. We can all have our unique "types" that lend their own beauty and uniqueness to our parenting journey. Types aren't what's important- we don't have to fit the mould, it's okay. It's heeding the Faithful Voice...And our consciences. It's searching for truth. It's listening to the lurch in our hearts when we're not on the right path. The call of our conscience that confirms our steps. And also the joy that comes from the peace that flows when we step in and embrace Truth. There is One Truth, but how He looks in each life and family is going to be unique and beautiful.
And with out further ado, I'm going to post this...I hope it's clear...I'm kinda in need of a nap, but this was burning on my heart...