Monday, November 22, 2010

Stay at home Mom's Work Less

That's according to some author who was pondering the dutch culture.

Read it here.

I did that write a book in the comments on the friend who shared this on facebook. I am glad he shared it, it really crystallized some things for me. Our culture hates mothers. The feminist movement swept through and suddenly it was all about a career. I am woman hear me roar. I can be good as a man, I can beat them all at their game.

The way I see it? I AM as good as a Man, because I'm a woman. I can have babies, I make milk! Men can't do that! If you study the uterus and it's function for our whole body: wow!!! Incredible! We are AMAZING! Because we are women.
So what about the feminists that choose to stay home? The ones that are fighting for their rights to be treated like WOMEN. To birth the way they want to. To raise children who don't think in the box. To do whatever they want to do. Stop focusing on the men, who cares? I hate to be seen as not another ignorant "stay at home" Mom. But as women who WORK in the home, that their work has value, more value than any other work really.

My Comment: Hmmm well I'm not exactly a feminist (in the traditional sense) I am more of one in some ways than I ever thought I would be. I don't like the way "work less" is worded- at least in regards to mothers. Mothers who stay at home, work just as hard (twice as hard!) as anyone else. The author has obviously never had children because when she states that they 'do as they want' and that they "hang out with their children" -WOW! Sure a glaring light on the lack of respect our culture has for the hard work involved in RAISING children. It's kind of laughable! Sure some parts of working in the home are nice. I do get to decide what I do every day, when small children will co-operate. Nap like they are supposed to, not throw up or get really ill and need undivided attention, or fall and break a bone, or whatever...Life with children (especially when they are under the age 5) is chaos...One comedian put it perfectly: "they come out looking for ways to die." It may look like mothers who work in the home have no set hours ( because they work and are on call 24 hours a day 365 days a year) and a ton of freedom. But they also have no set feed back (you're doing this well, need to improve here), because it's hard to judge HOW they ARE doing. And the jobs they did accomplish can be undone in a matter of minutes (thank you small child for dumping that disgusting water all over the freshly mopped floor, or for barfing on the carpet I just shampooed, or dumping that laundry basket I just sorted and folded or just having the ability to make it look like a bomb went off in 5 minutes flat). Yes it may look from the outside like we're puttering in the garden (*or you could see it as growing good organic food for our family for the winter), or hanging out with our children- and that is fun...But there are also fights, also a hundred brain numbing teaching moments a day...Constant on your feet time, even in the night with a sick child. EVERY THING is in a Mother's job description...Because generally she's also a full time wife too. I think the dutch culture has a deep respect for MOTHERS (they have one of the highest percentage of home birth which is the safest and most respectful way to give birth and one of the worlds lowest maternal death rate). They see the job of mothering, of serving your family as some thing that is important and increases the enjoyment of life for every one...happier kids, happier homes. I hope I don't sound like this offended me, it didn't I found it really interesting...And refreshing (in a way) to see how much a culture appreciates the vocation I have chosen.

And another thing I really appreciate about the dutch, they are so relational! It's about community, women working together sharing their lives together, supporting each other. I feel like all the feminist movement brought us (okay there were some definite changes needed and accomplished!) was women cutting each other down, competing every where...Who can be the better mother, who has the better degree, who does this, who doesn't do that.

Maybe it's just me.

*yes puttering in the garden, but with small children even that can be a challenge...I can't count how many green tomatos Roo and Friendly helped "harvest" this summer or how many we made in to tomato sauce immediately because they had "sampled" the goods.


  1. interesting thoughts:):)
    and I LOVE your photos...
    yes, the playsilks will be available for ordering until dec. 8th:) just let me know what colors you'd like:) -rebecca

  2. I know ALOT of men who couldnt handle what we SAHMs go through for more than one day. if that. BUT I couldnt do the hard labor that a lot of men do. We each have our role. And our priorities and there is no set RIGHT way but there is a way that promises good outcomes. In our society it is hard to have one income and live the way we want to live without making some serious sacrifices. It is hard work making babies and raising them but it is the biggest blessing in the world and I would never trade it for a booming career. Not in a million years!!!!


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