Monday, June 7, 2010

Hard day...

If I hear "No Mommie I don't want to." one more time I'm going to scream. Gotta love 2.5

And my 10 month old...Oiye! She wants to do every thing her sister is doing. There is no distracting her. And while Riley is getting better at using her words (Mainly "help Mommie!!") instead of her hands. She still succumbs to letting out her frustration by pushing. Pushing her sisters face into the ground, that is. While laughing gleefully. Ugh. If it's not one thing it's the other. I got up at 6:30 with Amity and dove into the day, I wish I could explain how tired and touched out I feel.

This morning I woke up and I was praying for God to help me present. To be right on top of every thing they were both doing all the time. To keep one of them at my side the entire day so I could protect them from themselves. While I did pretty good with this they still managed to claw and cat fight at a few different points.

I didn't get any thing done. No not true, I put a bunch of clean laundry into a laundry basket and carried it 10 feet. We spent the morning on the front porch reading books and playing. And I got every one fed. After nap they were both so rammy I packed them in the stroller and we ran to the local park I took them out and we walked around the (fenced) pond and watched the ducks. Saw a little mother duck with 4 ducklings that are 1/2 full grown. Some how watching that mother duck got me thinking. She has 4 little ducklings, they're always following her around, she's always teaching them. I don't know gave me more respect for other mother's in nature.

Anyway we watched ducks and walked through the park and went to our special spot and played with sidewalk chalk and rolled in the grass. And it was nice. We were gone for about 2.5 hours.

And then we came home and it was like they had gotten nothing from me the entire day, they were even leechier and fighting with each other.

And then Ryan left 15min late for work and he was (sweet man) going to make supper (pancakes his specialty) I thought "great that will be a help, quick dinner" but I was stuck with the kids for another 45 min because he couldn't work in a "dirty" kitchen. it wasn't that bad. ugh. I'm just angry and whine and I have a really bad headache and the baby wouldn't go down even though she's obviously extremely tired and she spit her medicine all over me and right before she did that she spit up on my shirt. I gave her to the hubby because I was ready to lose it, I did lose it and I swore (not a habit of mine, it came out of nowhere) in front of the girls and I'm just DONE. I feel really bad. I was a grumpy tired mama this evening and I just wish for ONE easy day. It feels like we've had a long string of these lately. Oh and I think I'm battling a UTI. Doesn't help my mood much.

I'm just feeling so drained by the responsibility lately, especially the constant conflict on all sides Not that I'm battling it out with the girls, but setting boundaries and holding them is just exhausting because "holding boundaries" with these ages means constant physical removal redirection. Amity's favorite new thing is climbing up and standing on the little rocking chair, not okay. also tyring to find new ways to crack the baby gates, find any thing off limits. It's good, it's good it's good, she's a genius and brilliant it's a good thing...Discovering her world and all that. But I can't baby proof any more than I have and she cracks the codes.

And Ri joins her in the baby mischief...Things she had outgrown are now being revelled in again, except she knows better and thinks it's a game.

Okay done rambling and whining. I just wish I had 4 arms or an extra me because there is never enough of me to go around these days.

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