So I spent some time in prayer yesterday. And I've been trying to keep the conversation open. Let the Lord get his fingers in these thought processes and figure this out
So I've been thinking about an analogy my violin teacher used back when I took lessons. She said playing violin is like spinnign plates at the circus. You have to be thinking about 5 or 6 different things all at once- how you hold your bow, the way you move it, the position and angle of your fingers, then getting into the actual notes, the speed, the angle in which you draw your bow, the way you move it for every different note...You get the picture it's kinda tricky.
I am a plate spinner- or I've been trying to be. And I've had more plates than I think I've shared with any one. A lot of painful things, more plates in the air than any one could reasonably be expected to keep spinning- and some of the plates were very large and heavy and are a LOT of work.
That's all.. The relization is there, now just to work through...I'm not sure. In the past I have had a tendancy to stuff problems. The past year it's been all about looking them in the face, seeing them...But ...Well I'm still praying and trying to figure it out. And this is totally deja vu. When I was preggo with RJ- or was it Ami? I had a dream about this moment...Now if Rj freaks out about wearing jeans over tights this afternoon it will truely come true....
I can't do it.