I've been feeling really overwhelmed by my job lately. My toddler has been miserable and the meltdowns and tantrums were pushing me to the brink. So yesterday afternoon I did some reading and praying and was trying to get my head on straight.
I found THIS overview of the book Dealing With Disappointment (by Elizabeth Cary) I found it on this blog there is so much I want to teach my kids... But it really sucks because there are so many things I'm having to teach myself first. I never truely learned "self calming" techniques- I learned how to stuff it- and have it come out in unhealthy and destructive ways. I want Riley and Amity and any other kids we're blessed with to learn how to handle stressful situations in a healthy way.
I'm realizing just how much I have to learn and it's overwhelming. Last night I was snuggling with Amity- we were talking to eachother and I was singing her songs. I was feeling so overwhelmed by the job before me. I was thinking about the date Ryan and I were heading out on and I was feeling so sad that we were leaving her behind (she had an awesome time with Nana...and Ryan and I had a nice 1.5 hours staring into eachothers eyes, wolfing down mexican food and enjoying the fact that we didn't have to chase, occupy or comfort any one)...Anyway, my mind went to the thought that if some thing ever happened to me what would their life be like (haha it almost always goes there when I'm going to be away from my babies for any length of time - normal? I don't know. :0) I wondered if she would learn the things I so desperately want her to. And it hit me again, God gave her to me. He's put certain things on my heart to teach her and one way or another she'll be taught them- and I'll learn too. He's a big God...Whether I'm the one who is blessed with the privledge of raising her and her sister (and future brothers and sisters), or not. He's going to equip me to DO this job- he already has I just need to take it one moment at a time. I get so overwhelmed with all that I don't know. Afraid that I'm missing some thing, that I'm going to be 15 years down the road and go "shoot, I wish I had known about ______ and ________" . But I'm taking my job seriously there's grace to cover those things to...
So I'll try to stay in the present. I'm trying to read up on every thing I can get my hands on to deal with all this... And when in doubt prayer- that we'll make it through whatever in one piece.
This quote from the overview hit me and I thought I'd share. Well I can't copy and paste, and I don't have time for writing it out so HERE is the link to tha page. I love the thought that we give our cihldren words for every thign else in life- and we need to specifically label their FEELINGS.
So I'll close with that I think... If any one else were going to raise our children (and this is going in my Will) they would need to read these books before taking on the job.
Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel
Playful Parenting by Dr Larry Cohen
Dealing with Disappointment by Elizabeth Cary
Easy to Love Difficult to Discpline by Becky Bailey
The Discpline Book by Dr Sears
Families Where Grace Is In place by Jeff VanVonderan
I wonder what my list would look like in a few years from now? haha and I need to get 3 of those books and read read read!! I've just had them so highly recommended and they are my MUST read list- I think we might even look into going to the library today :0)