Sunday, December 20, 2009

I think it is the weight of responsability that is wearing me out. I am NEVER gaurenteed time to myself unless I leave on my own. During the week days I can HOPE for 20-30 minutes of free time a few days a week -when the girls nap longer than I do. I can HOPE for 30 minutes to run on the elipticle in the mornings-but that's NEVER unitertupted. I usually have to hop down a few times to redirect a certain toddler...Or put the fussing baby on my back so I can finish the work out scream free.

I love my kids, but it gets to a point where I feel like I spend 90% of the time trying to find time for myself becuase I'm so burnt out (because any time that they are entertained else wehre on teh weekends I have to catch up on some house stuff I can't do with them in tow- or things that take 10 times as long wiht them around). When if I could get an hour or two with unterupted time all for me every week I could give them that 90% to them and keep 10% of stolen time for me.

I'm feeling like a burnt out and bad Mom, hiding on my laptop, ignoring their whining and crying and constant climbing on me nad touching and requests because they are DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been a rough few weeks. My bank is EMPTY- way over drawn and it's making me grumpy. And my husbadn wants to be with me and all I can do is snap and complain at him too. He's amazing, but I"m so tired of working my butt off only to turn around and see that a whorde of people has come through and undone it and left a bigger mess than there was before.

I'm tired. I'm jsut TIRED. And Amity is screaming in her jumperoo, need to get off and calm her down. She's not feeling well poor baby.

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