Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Little Pieces

This is a picture I took of my back yard when I was 12... For whatever reason, it fits my mood this evening. My brother is out swinging on our swing.

Reflecting on that. All the little pieces that make up life. I hung out with a very dear friend yesterday. She was sharing about all the changes happening in her life this summer. And she said it hit her, "life is what happens when you're making other plans."

Not like this new earth shattering revelation. But as she is known to say, "true story."

I have been thinking about my life. I can't say I'm making plans. I've had God squash my plans so completely and devastatingly that ...I don't make plans anymore. I'm not just saying that. I think I truly have finally learned to keep an open hand. I am definitely a dreamer, but I don't make those dreams concrete. I have found that the ones I try to mold are just not nearly as pretty or as exciting as the ones God comes up with...

So I wait. And while I wait life is just happening. And I see all these little pieces involved and I wonder where they'll fit.

I see the pieces. I see the passions forming. I have some questions. But I'm not going to try to untie the knots. I'm just going to enjoy the ride. Because this is life...And as another saying goes "it's what you make it..." or more, what He makes it!

And this little piece of reflection is so vague. I truly am not trying to be all deep and wise. I guess with Amity's first birthday just around the corner I'm feeling a little sappy.

So I reflect, I won't untie the knots. But I do wonder about the pieces... My children, my husband, our future. We had a bit of an employment "scare" this week. Times are tough...We're provided for, R has a job. But that's besides the point. What will God do with the passions I have for new Moms? For childbirth? For babies? For children? Do I become a doula? A Post Partum care is some thing strongly on my heart. Mothering new mothers, helping them, making them feel safe and cared for...Giving them a sense of community, some one they can call if they need.

So as I sit and reflect...I know I just have to wait, to live life...Because it'll happen, while I'm not looking life happens.

And that, as A would say, "is such a true story."

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