Regrouping

So we've learned some things with this process...And confirmed some things. I'm glad we dove in with all of this.

What we've learned...

• We've confirmed that our little RJ is not like most...We knew this already, she's always been high needs and sensitive. But it should have been in the forefront of our minds when we took on this "3 Day Potty Training" deal.
• We learned how easy it is to get stresesd out having to follow a program...We're not program people and it's not in the best interest of our family.
• We learned in the end that we're really glad we dove in with the underwear thing! REALLY glad. Did she learn to use the potty in 3 days? Nope. Did she learn to recognize what elimination/peeping/pooping ARE? ABSOLUTELY.
• We learned A LOT. We learned that we can handle cleaning up messes- they aren't a big deal. Actually having cloth diapered for the past 18months we've realized her wearing underwear really is only a little different (the messes end up on the floor)...And we have the dry pail (for poopy or wet undies) all set up for AJ!
• We learned that RJ really is VERY good at holding her bladder, amazingly so. Again, probalby thanks to the CD's? She learned she felt wet so instinctively held it for longer so her diapers wouldn't bother her?
• We were once again confirmed that our family is definitely never going to fit in the "one size fits all" category. And to distrust advice that says every one does.
• We also learned to recognize RJ's cues and we got a special long weekend giving her a lot of attention (and learning from OUR frustrations).

What we've decided...

That we're going to keep going, but with a more relaxed attitude...More late ECing (which we've done a little of since she was 7mos old) than PTing. Let her run naked or in underwear around the house, puting her in pull ups, cloth pull ups, or training pants when we're out and about... It might take a few weeks but I think it will eventually be 100% underwear (I mean we WILL eventaully- she's not going to be PTing when she's 16, right? ;0). And very soon we'll be starting with Amity- who already cues very well when she pees I can almost always tell- I'm just too lazy to catch it before she goes. And hey, she's in cloth it's not costing much to wash them.

This potty training journey has been interesting. I haven't felt this waffley (that's a word) and unsure since Ri was a newborn! Looking back there are a few things I wish we had done differently... I want to in the future be more aware of fear- fear of failure. I know this whole thing was probalby a bit more stressful on Ri than it could have been. #1 don't potty train when they are sick. Give it up and try again...But we'd introduced the idea and once she expiereinced diaper-free morning she really didn't seem to want to go back. Oh and on the sick thing, especially in RJ's case, doing ANY THING when she is sick is miserable. She cries pretty constantly when she doesn't feel well. She sits there and fusses for hours on end- in our arms, alone, with us walking her around, constant intense attention and platy have to happen to keep the tears at bay...she's definitelt my girl! :0.

It was definitely an exhausting time made more exhausting by her being upset by wet peed on legs. We're not doing THAT agian. And I'll admit it, we were on the first day scared that if we backed off and let her back in diapers she wouldn't potty train for years and years (it was an unsaid irrational, silly, inkling fear).

And on a positive note, some thing changed in me this weekend. I realized a naked child running around (the very thought stressed me out) really isn't a big deal, getting them dressed 16 times a day (shirt on, shirt off) really wasn't a big deal... This whole thing has really been a very bonding experience for me and Ri... I'm glad we did it.

Lessons learned...agh parenting is humbling.