Four Years Old

Our Roo Girl is 4 years old today. It's impossible to believe - can't wrap my head around it.

Mommie at 4 (I had just tied my shoe laces alone!)

Our first picture together

 

First Birthday

Second Birthday!!!

3rd Birthday!

 And this year has brought so much growth!! When you find a task or goal you want to accomplish: you are driven until you master it. We have been so blessed and honored to sit back and see all the things you have taken on this year. You've blossomed in so many ways, no blog post could do it justice!

May 2011

June...

This year brought some thing very special: Friendship with your little sister...You guys have so much fun together!

Late July

Monkey bars- you can get to the 6th one!

And hula hooping! You can keep that thing going for almost a full minute!

A picture from early summer: swingset!

Learning to write letters...

You love to create!!!

Autumn

Mommie's sad attempt at a "puppy cake" for your 4th Birthday

her 4th "Birthday Party"

Happy Birthday Roo Girl!! We love you so much, we are so blessed to have your sweet empathetic heart in our family. You truly are a joy and we don't know what we'd do if you weren't YOU!

Full-Term...The End of a Season

I'm some where around 37+ weeks and every thing is getting ready to open up to this new season. I can't count how many times I have cried in the last few days.  The most exhausting and draining factor has been Friendly, my 28mos "baby". She knows change is coming.

This is pretty much the story of our life right now:

Christmas Eve with my Friendly Girl

 She wants Mama, she wants to be near me, desperately so. And she seems to be grieving and processing the changes coming. She kept waking up last night (she had a tummy ache) crying "I yourw baby, Mama...I'm jus a baby...I'm yourw baby, Mama..." Heart breaking. I tell her she will *always* be my baby... But the reality is, a new littlest is moving in to her place and while we're all excited: I feel a little sad to be saying goodbye to my "Friendly baby". I am mourning the truth, that the moment this new little person comes out Friendly will forever more seem "big" in my eyes. :0( Even though she's still so small...I hope it will be a little easier to keep perspective than it was with Roo. But the fact of the matter is: things are going to change.

This morning Ryan tried to give Friendly her morning snack (apples) and she cried (actually kicking and screaming fit would be more like it) and refused to eat because she wanted Mama to give them to her. I wasn't getting out of bed after the horrible nights sleep she had given me, so she came in and got some snuggles instead. I am seriously starting to wonder if she'll un-wean when my milk comes in. Either way, I have a feeling when Newby is nursing Friendly is going to be in my arms too.

And how am I feeling? I'm starting to feel ready... Really, ready. Not that I'm in a rush...Or think I'll go soon. But I have a feeling that this baby isn't going to come in anyway that I plan. :0) After all the agonizing, soul searching, and changes I've made this pregnancy: it's going to be, how it's going to be and I'm along for the ride. And I'm really excited. I don't think I've ever been so excited for a new baby, ever.

Today 37ish weeks 

 That said, I'm getting uncomfortable. Some time in the last few days Newby has dropped. I went from 36cm to 33cm in measurements and have started to get this non-stop -driving-me-crazy ache in my back/buttocks. And the past 3 days prodormal labor has started...I thought the prodormal labor was bad with Friendly... This time it's prodormal back labor: sooo not cool. While in some ways not as uncomfortable as what I had with Friendly (I had sciatica with her too that was just awful after she dropped) I think I am keeping a good perspective, one contraction at a time.  It's a bit frustrating because I didn't get "round the clock" contractions with Friendly until the last week. But I had about 3 weeks of evening prodormal labor that made things uncomfy. This time? Around the clock back contractions (and some low AF-like cramping that sucks) since Monday (I think?)...It's getting old. The thought of 3-5 weeks more of this is a little overwhelming. So I'm just taking it as I can and trying to relieve my back ache with belly dancing and spending time in childspose and hugging my balance ball.

I started taking EPO (evening primrose oil) vaginally the other night, and while I was in there I checked my cervix: it's anterior (quite handy! I'm surprised at how easy it is to reach) and feels like it's thinning out and very soft... Maybe 1-2 finger tips open. I can definitely tell the work my body is doing is preparing for Newb to exit...And it's exciting! But I decided to stop the EPO. I did one dose and the contractions got so intense the next day I felt like I should just wait...My cervix is softening and I'll let it do it's work. I don't want to rush Newby.

I think what is most frustrating (infuriating!) is that Newby is NOT posterior (laying face forward)- for the most part, s/he's been in a great position for birth! It seems a bit unfair that I should be dealing with this increasing pressure in my back when I've been so careful to help baby into a good position. Not fair.

Newby is doing well. Her movements have slowed WAAAY down in the last 24 hours...I have never ever had to do a "kick count" before...But yesterday after an extremely quiet day I was starting to worry. I laid down and ate some M&M's ...15 minutes later: still nothing... I drank some OJ and poked and prodded and even had DH pray for and talk to Newby... Nothing... I drank some sprite...45minutes in I was crying and getting ready to call the OB...When Friendly came in and kissed my belly and said "I wub you, baby Newby." and Newby immediately got the hiccups and started moving all around. RELIEF... But even now she's quiet in there...The movements are those of a baby resting up.

So that's the physical side... On the emotional side I feel like every thing has a taste of "lasts" ...I keep thinking about how much harder things are going to be to do for the next year...All the joys and drawbacks that come with a baby in the house. I'm so excited, so ready... I can't wait to meet you, sweet little Newby.

And I'm going to go get in a ball on the floor because OOOOOW. 

Nesting Panic

Okay, I'm not really panicking. I'm just realizing how soon this baby will be here. I have 5-8 weeks left. Five if I go my earliest so far (39weeks)...And 8 if I go to a full 42 weeks (3rd times the charm, right?). I'm not feeling one way or another if baby will be early or late. I'm almost feeling like maybe later.

Apart from the fatigue of battling a UTI (on antibiotics, sigh), parenting two very active littles, and being 8mos pregnant: I still feel REALLY good. I am so so pleased that I've stayed in shape this pregnancy.

33 weeks. 8lbs gained so far.

And commence my little brag, forgive me, I'm so proud of myself, I've worked really hard to stay active and eat (really) healthy this pregnancy- some thing I've never done before. At 34ish weeks I can walk 3-5 miles (13min miles) no problem (well the BH's get obnoxious). I have been doing belly dancing regularly. And -don't tell- but I can still do 30 Day Shred!  Though I modify the "on your back stuff" to hands and knees exercises (pelvic tilts and balance poses)...Jumping jacks are beginning to be uncomfortable after the first few (and Newby protests) so I modify those as well. :0D I can't say how empowered I feel being able to do things I was never physically able to in other pregnancies. I am SO glad I've pushed myself, it was so important to me that I feel strong and ready for labor- and I do! For the first time I feel excited for the process!!

 That said, the unavoidable "last month" stuff is settling upon me. It takes a long time to pee because I have to shift around baby's head to get it all out.And I have to go a lot. I feel hot and overheated so easily (thankful it's cold out!).  Rolling over at night is starting to become a chore- Newby feels like a giant bowling ball wedged in my pelvis- so glad she's squishier than that!! Also, I've been waking a bit achy in the mornings-  ready to get out of bed and move around.
And the lovely Braxton Hicks have arrived. While they are kind of annoying, as they make it feel kind of hard to breath, I am actually really thankful for them this time. They are such great practice to go limp...To be intentional and surrender and relax my jaw (I find it clenched a lot dealing with day to day stuff). They are a positive reminder to breath deeper and sip water...They are PRACTICE for the big day and how I need to react. Exciting to be getting close!!

I hope I can remain this positive and I guess you could say, zen, for the rest of the pregnancy. I don't have a set due date (some where between the 15th and 25th of January)...While I'm secretly hoping for January 12th (the date Ryan and I decided to get married- I think it would be neat to have our 3rd baby on that date 7 years later!) I really don't mind if Newby hangs out in there until ...whenever. I have lots of projects lined up for after the Holidays...I'm really saving all my big nesting stuff until that point.


MY NESTING LIST:
BEFORE the Holidays:

• Birth kit and hospital bag
• Hospital tour and registration.
• Continue cleaning the house neurotically...Randomly decide to scrub all the areas of our home that I know will drive me crazy after baby is born (and I remember with Friendly: nesting didn't stop once baby was born: I need to be able to enjoy my baby with a clear conscience. :0D
• Locate all the parts of the crib- so we're not searching or with out it when we are taking care of a newborn and NEED it (we side-care it to our bed).
• Locate newborn clothing (Maybe tuck a few things into the dresser so it's there??)
• Go over the cloth diaper stuff.
• Have at least some muffins and quick breads in the freezer as well as a minimum of 4 meals.
• Get a few Size 1 sposie diapers (no point in the NB size my baby's historically out grow them with in a couple of days)
• Finish knitting Friendly's Dotty Dog.

Finished Roo's!

AFTER THE HOLIDAYS...IF I have time to kill (okay some of this REALLY needs to happen)

• Finish knitting a couple baby hats (fun evening activity).
• More quick breads and muffins...Also "smoothie packs" (just little bags of fruit and veggies put together that can be dumped into the food processor with some yogurt)
• A couple more meals: mainly GF Pizza crusts and maybe 1 or 2 extra casseroles would be nice.  
• Put all the newborn clothes in the dresser.
• Create a shopping list for "baby week" and hopefully be able to get every thing on it in early labor (extra things I'll want postpartum- and the extra "easy foods" for the first week.)
• Locate or purchase, or make all my postpartum necessities...
• Afterease for after birth pains 
• Mama cloth -sew a few new ones
• LARGE disposable pads for the first few days + Mama cloth layer
• Arnica
• Dermoplast (numbing spray for down there- I think I still have some from Friendly...)

I am honestly foreseeing lots of extra time to get all the things done in January...But there is a niggle - that with my "luck"- baby will surprise us in the midst of the Holidays (I'd be 37-38weeks- seems too early!) and I won't have ANY THING ready. Kelly's (or someone!) Law: if  you are prepared you won't need it...Especially when it comes to babies! I really want a restful, joyful, and peaceful postpartum time. No hubby baking messes, no extra stress...Just hunkering down and adjusting and enjoying together!

Let the panic attack commence...Kidding... But I do have quite a few things that need to be done soon!